Blank Propaganda Machine

Mass Debate: Is Steven Seagal the Greatest Martial Arts Action Hero of All Time?

Kirk Wilson, Jed Craig, & Kraig Schaulin

This week’s episode will hit you like a half-hearted roundhouse kick to the face! Kirk squares off with Kraig over the ultimate question no one really asked: Is Steven Seagal the greatest martial arts action hero of all time? Kirk, fully aware that Seagal is an out-of-shape, rizzless dumpster man, still defends him as an icon - mostly because watching a beady-eyed, sweaty, spoiled-ham of a man try to aikido chop bad guys never ceases to entertain. Kraig fires back with actual evidence, like Jackie Chan’s legendary stunt work and, you know, talent. He then accuses Kirk of light racism, to which Kirk counters by calling Kraig a “Chinese sympathizer,” and moderator Jed just wants to say “Sensei Seagal” enough times that it becomes culturally irreversible. Elbows are snapped, egos bruised, and somewhere a ponytail weeps, on this week's Mass Debate! 

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